My whole intention in writing this is to impart helpful information that has benefited me in my own life. I was diagnosed at the age of 6 with mild highfunctioning Autism but it has not slowed me down too much. As a matter of fact, people who have high functioning Autism have unique talents, and have a lot to offer when they can fine tune their skills and unique perspective to their advantage and the good of others! I like who I am as an individual and want others to possibly find some helpful tools they can use themselves or understand better those they love who have it, or suspect may have it.
Though alot of people struggle with these, at least from my experience these are predominant struggles of the Autistic mind, that I have seen and as an individual deal with most.
1.) Anxiety/Worry
2.) Exaggerating and magnifying relatively minor problems or hard issues into unwholesome proportions!
3.) Overthinking, Overanalyzing or overcomplicating things that are not warranting it
4) Agitation/Irritability- largely contributed by overstimulated mental processes or sensory input.
Other times, feeling misunderstood
5.) Tendency to dominate conversations
6.) Tendency and natural inclination to obsess on specific interest or worry, the mind gets divided and all focus is drained toward the current mental preoccupied thoughts at given moment.
7.) Disorganized- due to lack of mental focus, simple tasks such as sorting and organizing become a much more daunting task. Mental focus and cognitive ability to process tedious task become so taxing due to such compromised concentration difficulties.
8.) Hyper- critical of word selection and many have a vast vocabulary of words to use that many people may not know- [Do to fears of articulating my thoughts and feelings in a way that did not best capture or convey my feelings or thoughts- many I feel have misunderstood me and gotten to think I mean something that does not totally capture the weight of what I am trying to communicate.
These are some of mine I personally am aquainted with!
First off, let’s go through each and see what God’s Word has to say. For any of my friends who are not Christians who may read it, I believe you will still see very practical truth in my excerpt, and see it is not just some sermon, but these are things that have worked for me personally as someone diagnosed with Aspergers.
We will start with 1.) Anxiety/Worry- These are things all human beings struggle with to a varying degree, and what makes people on the Autism spectrum especially suseptable to these is the way their minds seem to gravitate and latch onto a train of thought, especially a specific interest or fear. OCD seems to be pervasive as a trait and most if not all people with Aspergers and high functioning Autism have OCD as a trait but not separate diagnosis. The DSM recent diagnosing criteria do not allow ASD and OCD or ADD/ADHD to exist together as separate additional diagnoses, which means ASD is the full package deal with happy meal included.
Part of what creates an anxiety disorder can be neurochemical related but let’s not undervalue the importance of mental disciplines. We must choose what we allow our minds to dwell on and for me the only real thing the helped me stop being a pessimist or a chronic worrier was learning how to as scripture says think on “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things.” As Philippians chapter four speaks on.
Example: Intrusive thoughts- These thoughts can be a number of different thoughts that pop into our minds and they could be disturbing, unsettling, invoke fear, anxiety or anger. What should we choose to do as people who know the Word of God?
Refuse to invite the thought to dinner and dessert in our minds.
Seems simple enough but not that easy. We must refuse it entry into our minds as an unwelcome house guest and not dwell on it but just go about our business.
2.) Do something positive instead, whether pray for someone in need or serve, praise God and thank him, bless someone. We must replace bad thoughts and behaviors with healthy constructive ones,
Throwing out ideas but hear are a few of mine that I do, I say “Lord your word says to take every thought captive to obedience to Christ and this thought is unwholesome and not of you so here it is, govern my mind with your truth and word.”
Stop thinking on it- refuse to dwell on it or let it lead me to focusing on like hanging up the phone on a obnoxious scammer.
Pray over the fear; concern or speak to the Lord about it “Where the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom” (2 Corinthians 3:17)
When we follow thoughts that are unhealthy or we know won’t really help us go anywhere positive, they only lead down trails to negative emotions and frustrated thinking. The Cynic is the kind of person who has worn trails in their mind by constantly focusing on the negative – that is why Romans 12 tells us “Be transformed by the renewing of your minds”
Our brains have the ability to rewire how we think but with The Lord’s help we have to make an effort to discipline our minds to think His thoughts not bad ones.
Number 2 and 3 Is also a similar issue,
2.) Exaggerating and magnifying relatively minor problems or hard issues into unwholesome proportions!
3.) Overthinking, Overanalyzing or overcomplicating things that are not warranting it
If something bad does happen, what good does it do to compound an already present issue? Unless decisive action can be taken to overt an even greater problem. It only helps to worry if you can take proper measures to prevent some problem or further problem- but focusing on what is beyond the scope of our control is not health, the what if’s often get no one anywhere and that’s why Jesus Warned about worrying.
Then Jesus said to his disciples: “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. 23 For life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. 24 Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! 25 Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? 26 Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? 27 “Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 28 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith! 29 And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. 30 For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. 31 But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well. 32 “Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. 33 Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will never fail, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. 34 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Luke 12:22-34)
God promises to provide what we are truly in need of when we truly need it when we put his agenda ahead of our own.
Number 4 is for me largely a manifold issue, pertains to me having trouble staying organized, losing things, accumulation of small minor things creating a stressed state, as well as feeling pressured. Also, it pertains to neurological chemistry and for some people medication is needed to give the brain a more even keel and balance the chemistry of the brain. One thing though is also not over focusing on what is irritating, and I drop something or something gets lost, if I start to think about how often things get lost, broken or misplaced or whatever counter productive thought trail that could be traveled on, I get irritated.
Number 5, Tendency to dominate conversations
Well cannot say this is easy either, or was not at first to practice. Yet the more I work on it the better it gets and for the most part feel as though engaging in fair dialog is easier yet can alway improve.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.
Philippians 2:3-4
It is not as though some people with ASD do not know better or cannot see how counterproductive this makes us in social situations, but rather we have an “itch” toward certain tendencies that seem so ingrained that giving them up to be more sociable takes a great deal of effort to curb. That is why this tendency does not merely go away with someone saying something to indicate they feel we totally took captain’s seat in a convo or made them feel we had no interest in them. Sometimes it is needful to gently remind one when they are doing it so they can learn.
Alot of men and women with ASD do feel like outcasts and take on an eclectic excentric social sphere do to how our society can be cruel and unkind toward those who are not the “status quo, same cookie cutter shape as everyone else.” Yet there is no shame in being unique as God designs all of us. The key is learning to be one’s unique self while appropriating healthy social boundaries and manners while doing so.
Christ did not himself let society mold him or determine his calling and neither should we. Yet there are times that we may need to adapt slightly just to be aware of what certain people are ok with as to not make them feel uncomfortable or hurt their feelings.
Some Aspies are very friendly extraverted peoppe, like myself I once was overly comfortable sharing way too much with random strangers and learned over time that not everybody is comfortable, wants to hear or is safe to share some matters with. I do now days get a general feel though after a few moments of talking with someone as to what level of freedom I have but even then caution cannot be thrown to the wind. A lot of people who are neurologically diverse have been too open and trusting of the wrong people, as a result they have gotten burned, and then if we are not carefuly we can be resentful and feel no one accepts us for the unique people we are. After time we can get in a bad spot and not want to be close to too many people since we feel it results only in getting hurt.
The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.
Proverbs 12:26
One temptation I have had is to not be careful enough as to how close I let people. It is Biblical to love everyone and treat them with kindness and show respect, but it’s a whole different ball game inviting them in to dinner and stay as your house guest, both literally and metaphorically. Why? Because not all people are as safe as others and we know this because that is why prisons exist, but even on a lesser scale there are some people who you cannot trust to keep your business private or not try to take advantage of your trust.
John 2:24 But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all people”
Proverbs 4:23 – Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
We are told in scripture to, “ Be wise as serpents but innocent as doves” and “Do not throw your pearls before swine lest they turn on you and trample you.”
As a result some have given us reason to be warry, but this should not keep us from opening up to or finding safe supportive friends. Isolating never does us any good either.
Proverbs 18:1 – An unfriendly person pursues selfish ends and against all sound judgment starts quarrels.
There are unfriendly people for many reasons, however, there is especially often a fear of getting burned or reinforced feelings of rejection for many of those who have ASD because of past rejection or being misunderstood. [Valid concern, yet isolating is not the cure] or some people on the spectrum may be easily irritated by things people do that annoy them, per peeves, sensory overloads, overly self conscious or just some flat out, Aspergers or not, are just nasty toward people, but we cannot judge what a person’s heart is truly reasoning, and if you were like me when I went through a personal trial on my own life, one may just be hurt and using pride as their wall to hide behind. I know now thats clearly what held me back so long. Yet, we know biblically pride wont truly help us but as Uzziah’s pride led to his isolation after the Lord struck him with leprosy by entering the temple to offer the burnt offering, so also our pride can drive us into isolation too. No we won’t probably become literal lepers but we will drive others away, may come off as hostile, or easily offended, irritable and look as though we are full of ourselves. These behaviors often in some cases mask deeper wounds that we do not want to face.
In this season of life, I could easily just put on the metaphorical boxing gloves over something someone said that was not even intended to be hurtful or offensive.
If you know someone like this, do not be angry, or too frustrated with them, but show them that you love them regardless, but be careful, depending on who they are and when necessary keep a healthy distance yet do not neglect them of love. Do not take it too personally, because when I was this way I could easily go off on the closest people because of my own hurt inside, but also I could wall off inside my prideful fortress that finally I asked God to take away. That is when I really started healing. I remember sobbing, and in my heart I wanted to stay angry and stubborn, but my friend Scott said, “You need to let go of you pride and submit to God, man.” So the best I knew how to at the time I said, “Lord as an act of my will I surrender my pride and I feel angry at you but I submit” and I felt peace! Cannot say it all went away overnight night but the more I surrendered my pride that I was medication with the more healing took place and now I feel whole and more emotionally stable!
I ever since then am so blessed the Lord used a negative and brought so much good out of it and want everyone to also benefit from my painful life experiences so good can possibly come to ther lives, hearts and they may also have the hope also that God truly does “Work all things together for the good of those who loved him and are called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28
As an Aspie male, I love to fix things, impart knowledge, and inspire. I want to hand my knowledge I have to others so they can too benefit. Which is how I am wired yet I remind myself that people are not projects but relational interchange can be just as important if not more. Sometimes we cannot give a person what they need, words are not sufficient, and sometimes they just appreciate our friendship and care for them.
That is how I met Brian, he was my best friend but im 2015 died of cancer, but he challenged the way I approached relational situations. I at first went into the friendship to see how I could inspire, edify and benefit him, but on the contrary, he did more of that for me then I could him! He was just so happy to have a friend and he encouraged me so much during that dark season of my life. Over years of being his friend I saw how much of a blessing I could still be to just give my time and friendship to someone. He helped my faith grow and saw God provide for him and his wife when things were tight. Brian would always encourage “Just trust the Lord” and he did so too himself exceptionally!
I do miss the ole fart but he is having a better time then us in heaven.
7.) Losing things and organization-
Well this one is one of my biggest mountain of clutter to climb. Used to be even worse but since I am always losing important papers I upload copies of these to my onedrive or google drive which means less sorting for me. Aspies do not like sorting, or doing circus jumps to accomplish stupid everyday tasks. As a result their time consuming efforts to get a few minor things done leaves them feeling overwhelmed. For me, for example, filling out a proof of income verification, I used to procrastinate like a sloth who was on trazidone- I want to throttle some of these folks that came up with the not so genuis idea for automated phone systems and those anal retentive people who create systems that are supposed to make things smoother but only make things difficult on everyone else.
Cannot say unfortunately things change in tech society but I have gotten better at doing seemingly idiotic mundane tasks that I used to dread: For me developing a system I can use that I am comfortable with has helped as well as just doing it as dull as the responsibilty is. I used to need to find some incentive or something to flavor bland tasks just to get them done, and no I dont like filling out forms but one way to add a little fun in something so tasteless for me is using my special pens that make writing a joy! No some tasks in and of themselves are just boring but Aspies are generally creative and great at coming up with ideas..
If I have to do chores or some project there is nothing like my own tools for a job!
Lastly, hyper selective wording, one reason I think Aspies often have a exquisite word usage is, I for one do not like slang, unless I am joking and find some of the ways people speak as less then spicy and these people are not unintelligent but there are so many words and the same ones get overused to the point of dull and insipid conversing, as vocabulary is concerned. Also content, if you want to be understood then using words to best articulate what you want to convey is helpful. Word use is like car parts or appliance parts, there high quality brake pads and then there is the bare minimum. There is is regular gas and premium. There is ideal never used quality parts then after market. This is just an analogy but I speak for myself, yet some people whether they are right for doing so or not, opinions may vary and I am convinced that character is far weightier then appearances, but people will judge merely by how sophisticated one speaks. Not all people but know your audience and be prepared to create a proper resume of self to present depending on who you’re dealing with.
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